Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
