My nipple is on Facebook.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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