Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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