That's intense
I have demons in me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
