No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
