Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Bring me that man meat
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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