Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you win again, gameday.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
