I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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