I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
