I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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