And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
