Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I love you.
Bad choice
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
