If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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