Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
