is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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