Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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