I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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