is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
