Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
