My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
