There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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