you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
