with your own penis?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I currently don't understand fingers.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
