Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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