My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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