I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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