ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
