I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it's great music for shaving your balls
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
