Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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