I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
