It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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