My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
