It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
What drink are we having for lunch?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
