Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
