Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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