Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
