This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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