I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
