I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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