i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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