Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
