The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
