The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
