it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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