So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
