worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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