I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
