I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
