Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Rumble strips road head = magical
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
