Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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