i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
